Poison & Wine
by Sterroline
Summary: Nine months after Damon and Bonnie's death, Stefan, Caroline, and Elena come together again. But something with Caroline isn't right.


your mouth is **poison**  
your mouth is **wine**

Caroline opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself suddenly.

Stefan looked over at her and raised his eyebrows. "What's going on in that little blonde head of yours?"

She furrowed her brow, a tell that she is overthinking. "Come on, Caroline, what's wrong?"

Caroline rubbed her lips together, stopped at the stop light and closed her eyes. "DoyouhavefeelingsforElena?"

It came out as a single word she said it so quickly. She opened her eyes and looked over and Stefan who was wide eyed. His mouth hung open is slight shock and his forehead wrinkled together. "What are you talking about?"

It had been months since he'd seen Caroline or Elena. Almost nine months to be exact. He found Caroline in New Orleans, drowning her sorrows in Klaus and he found Elena in New York, on the verge of turning it off. He wanted to bring them back together, the three of them. So they could bring Damon and Bonnie back.

They were so close he could almost taste it. But, Caroline had been acting strange.

"I'm talking about your obvious connection," she said. "That you've always had and apparently hasn't gone away since you saw her last." Caroline began to drive again, taking a peak at Stefan from the corner of her eye. "I saw you two the other night. Laughing. Dancing."

Stefan had taken Elena to a bar outside of Nashville so they could work out their differences. Stefan had invited Caroline, but she said she'd stay back. Wanting Stefan and Elena to talk about the fight they had before they three went their separate ways. [[MORE]]

Stefan shook his head. "I invited you to come," he offered. She shook her head.

"I know you did. And so I took you up on your offer. Albiet a little late." She sighed and her lips pursed. She didn't want to keep embarrassing herself by talking. "It's nothing, it's not a big deal. I just want you to know... you can tell me. If you have feelings for her."

Stefan smirked. "I know I can," he said, a laugh in his voice. "But, I don't have feelings for her."

"Even if you thought that she had feelings for you. You wouldn't want to explore that again?" Caroline hated how weak her voice suddenly sounded.

Stefan turned his whole body to Caroline and his gaze intensified. "What's going on with you?" His concern was written on his face like a page in his journal.

"Nothing," she feigned a smile that didn't quite make it to her eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"You're acting really weird."

Caroline rolled her eyes and laughed him off. "Hey, I'm just trying to tell you that you can be honest with me." She pulled into a parking spot at the hotel they were staying in just outside Atlanta. "You know I've always been team Stelena," she said with a wide grin and nudged his arm before hoping out of the car.

Stefan sat in the car, dumbfounded by her obvious lie and the strange way she was acting.

He had missed his best friend. So much. And it was great having her back, but she wasn't quite her. Not the way she used to be. Her bouncy, bubbly attitude seemed a bit more forced. Her smile didn't always make it to her eyes. They way she bit her lip seemed to signal her keeping a secret. His Caroline never used to keep secrets from her. She normally couldn't wait to tell him something.

you think your **dreams**  
are the same as **mine**

Caroline bounced onto his bed, her wet hair soaking the pillow, her skin glistening from her most recent bath. "What's on?" she asked looking at the tv. "Anything good."

"Big Bang Theory reruns," he said and reached for the remote to unmute the tv. "How was your bath?"

"Warm," she said with a smile. "Where's Elena?"

Stefan shrugged. He didn't know.

Caroline tilted her head at Stefan. "You know, getting Damon back will mean that they'll probably pick up from where they left off."

"I hope that's true," Stefan said in between a yawn. Caroline furrowed her brow at Stefan. Stefan caught her glare from the corner of his eyes and looked at her. "What?"

"You're seriously saying that you don't have any feelings for this girl?"

"I love her," Stefan said, his voice almost bored. "Just like I love Bonnie. Just like I love Damon. She's part of my family now." Stefan turned to Caroline. "But I'm not in love with her anymore. Why are you trying to make this happen?"

"I'm not," she argued.

"Then what are you doing?"

Caroline stood up and grabbed a towel from the floor and began drying her hair. Flecks of water hit Stefan's arm and face.

Stefan tilted his head and watched her. The question hung in the air like mist and Caroline walked out of the room without answering it.

the less I **give**  
the more I get **back**

It took three more days, but they finally brought them back. They were both a little more jaded, and a lot confused. But Stefan hugged his brother so tightly, he never thought he'd let go.

Caroline hugged Bonnie, and the light seemed to return to her eyes as she did so.

When everyone said their hellos, Caroline gauged Stefan's reaction, as he watched the tearful reunion between Elena and Damon.

Caroline could tell a lot had changed. Damon's eyes didn't light up the way they used to and she suspected it had something to do with what he'd gone through over the past year. Bonnie leaned on Caroline and Stefan smiled widely as Damon kissed Elena.

I don't **love** you  
but I **always** will

The shock of having them back had warn off, now they were trying to get home. To be able to cross the threshhold of Mystic Falls. And this was a biggie.

Bonnie was a witch again, which was a huge help. They had Damon back, who was always willing to do whatever it took. But Stefan's mind was on Caroline, the darkness that seemed to follow her. The way she seemed to watch him with eyes of a parent whenever he was around Elena.

Stefan sat on the hood of her car outside the hotel one morning waiting for her to come out.

She jumped at the sight of him. "What are you doing, psycho?" she asked in a good humored singsongy voice.

"Where are you off to?"

She smiled and tilted her head. "Nowhere," she said softly, a slight smirk on her face.

"Going to see Klaus?"

Her head tilted and her eyes scanned his face as if looking for something. "Careful Stefan," she murmured. "I might start to think you still care."

Stefan's eyes opened wide in confusion and he tilted his head.

Caroline laughed it off. "Just going to see my mom. She's meeting me for lunch outside Mystic Falls." Caroline bit her lip.

"What?" he asked.

"Wanna come?"

I don't **love** you  
but I **always** will

"Stefan!" Liz said with what sounded like a sigh of relief. They shared a brief hug and she put her hand in his. "I heard you got Damon back."

Stefan nodded and smiled like a school boy, proud of his accomplishment. "We did. And Bonnie."

Liz beamed. "Well, tell him to come see me anytime."

"If he does," Caroline reminded. "He'll croak."

"Right," Liz said. "Any progress on that?"

Stefan shook his head. "We've been looking for travelers willing to help, but they are few and far between."

"Have you thought about Elena's family members?" Liz asked and Caroline's breathing hitched.

"Katherine was a traveler, wasn't she?" she reminded them. How had he forgotten. "Maybe someone from her moms side might know something."

Caroline gritted her teeth.

"Thanks mom," she said unconvincingly.

"Your brilliant, Liz," Stefan said with a smile. "You should earn your stripes for that one."

Liz beamed at Stefan. "It's good to see you, Stef. You've always been so good to Caroline. I know you'll keep her safe."

Caroline flushed red and Stefan grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. "I won't let anything happen to her."

I wish you'd **hold** me  
when I **turn** my back

Caroline fell asleep on his bed. Her face smooshed comically against her hands. He kissed her forehead and her eyes fluttered open for a moment. Sleep still clouding them.

"Hi," he said softly. "Go back to sleep."

"Mmm," she purred and closed her eyes again.

When he woke up the next morning, his bare chest was exposed and Caroline was huddled in a pile of all the blankets, a light snore escaping her lips. He inched toward her, pulling the blanket from her. She groaned in retort but he pulled her into his arms and within moments, the snore was back.

They fell into the habit of falling asleep in each others rooms. By day, they would look for answers, by night, they'd watch bad tv and fall asleep. Every morning, she'd wake up in his arms.

They had a dance they did. She'd wake up, embarrassed, shy, and apologizing. And he'd tell her that it was fine. By breakfast, they'd be back to normal, acting as if the cuddle session had never happened.

your **hands** can heal  
your hands can **bruise**

Caroline dabbed eyeliner on her lower lid for a full minute before she noticed Elena watching her.

"You need the room?" Caroline asked, doing her best to smile at her friend.

"Nope," Elena said with a tilted her. "Why haven't you told Stefan?"

"Told him what?"

"What happened between the two of you," Elena moved to her side. "Before Klaus compelled him to forget."

"Klaus compelled him because I asked him to."

Elena shook her head. "I'm not buying that," she said as she folded her arms. "Be straight with me."

Caroline looked down at her feet. "Klaus compelled him to forget, so he forgot." Caroline rubbed her lips together and glanced at herself in the mirror. "He didn't do me the same justice."

"Tell him," Elena said, grabbing her hand. "Tell me everything that happened."

"It will hurt him too much," Caroline said.

"If you continue to keep it from him, it will just keep hurting you."

I don't have a **choice**  
but I still **choose** you

Caroline's phone rang and Stefan picked it up without thinking. "Stefan?" the familiar voice said. "I didn't expect you to still be around."

"What do you want, Klaus?" Stefan asked in irritation.

"It seems our blonde friend hasn't updated you on the events of summer."

Caroline walked in the room and Stefan passed her the phone. "Your boyfriends on the phone," he said in a snappy tone and walked out of the room.

Caroline followed him, hanging up the phone as she behind him. "What did he say to you?" she wondered ferverently.

"Nothing," Stefan said, jealousy thick in his voice. "Just going on about summer. Sounds like you two had a great time together."

Stefan got into his car quickly and drove away leaving a flushed Caroline standing in the parking lot.

I don't **love** you  
but I **always** will

"You and my brother?" Damon asked.

Caroline nodded and took a healthy pull from the blood filled glass.

"And he was compelled to forget because?"

"We turned it off," Caroline explained. "Together. And when Klaus found us, we were tearing through towns. He knew that Stefan wouldn't turn it back on unless he forgot all about the summer we spent together."

Elena chewed on her lip and waited for Damon to react. Damon made a face. "And you. How did you turn it back on?"

"For me," she paused to drink some more. "It was never off. It was like a dimmer switch. When Stefan's around, it makes it easier for me to turn it up, let more emotion in. But, then I feel the pain of losing him. Of him forgetting. Because, yeah. We did some shitty things. But, we did a _lot_ of things.

"Gross," Damon barked and Elena swatted him on the back of the head.

"Not that. Well, not just that. He... he told me things. Confessions. I never could tell if it was on or off for him either." Caroline wiped her eyes, expecting to feel tears, but nothing seemed to come. "I can't be his friend. And I can't be with him."

"So," she murmured. "I'm just lying to him. Always."

Damon let out a breath. "Did you ask Klaus to make you forget?"

"I begged him over and over," she shook her head. "But, he wouldn't do it."

"Why?" Elena asked.

Caroline shrugged helplessly. "All I know is... I love him. Because of that... I can't be his friend anymore."

Damon and Elena exchanged a look and Caroline stood and grabbed her bags. "Tell him I'm sorry."

I don't **love** you  
but I **always** will

Stefan came back to an empty hotel room, he knocked on the door to Caroline's room, hoping to apologize. He dialed her number endlessly to no avail.

He walked to the lobby to ask the front desk clerk if he'd seen her. "Ms. Forbes?" he asked. "Yes, she checked out this morning."

Stefan stormed up to Damon and Elena's room. "Where did she go? Did she go to see Klaus? Is she with her mom? I'm worried about her."

Damon walked up to his brother, put his hands on his shoulders and nodded. "Let's go find her. We'll start in New Orleans."

I don't **love** you  
but I **always** will

She wasn't in New Orleans with Klaus, but Damon did convince Klaus to compel his brother. The memories came wooshing back and almost knocked him off his feet. "I remember," he said looking up at his brother, tears in his eyes. "I know where she is."

They found her in the cemetery outside Mystic Falls on the bench where they had kissed for the first time. Neither of their emotions had been off or dimmed and he remembered every sweet delicious second.

The turning it off came later, after he had drained a coven of witches of their blood after they didn't give him the answers he wanted about Damon.

Caroline and Stefan sat side by side as they had the night Damon died.

He put his hands on hers. "I'm sorry," he told her. His voice was hushed and rough. Damon stood behind them, his arms crossed, waiting for the fall out. "I'm sorry you've been dealing with all of this alone. I know it's hard being the one with all the memories and no one to share them with."

Caroline turned to him slowly. "Damon told you."

Stefan shook his head. "He didn't have to. Klaus allowed me to remember." His eyes squinted a little. "I would've came back you know. I would have come back to you."

"I'm not... I'm not Lexi."

Stefan put his hand on her face, his thumb caressed her cheek softly and a ghost of a smile fell over his face. "No you're not. You're Caroline. My Caroline. The girl who has no only been there for me through everything, but the girl I found myself falling in love with while everything else fell apart."

"So when you said-"

"When I said I loved you, I meant it."

Stefan and Caroline bathed in the moonlight and watched each others reaction for a moment. Stefan finally opened his mouth to speak. "I do love you. I'm sorry I didn't realize it earlier. I'm sorry I didn't know what we had been through together. I'm sorry you had to see the ripper... but we're back now."

Caroline closed her eyes, ready to turn her emotions back on fully. To take the dullness and dim light away and let every color back into her life. As the did, Stefan's touch seemed to magnify. The jealousy over Elena seemed to dull and the feeling of love and gratitude washed over her.

She opened her eyes, Stefan's eyed her quizzically, waiting for a response. "I love you too."

Stefan's smile widened, a laugh escaped his lips and he pulled her in his arms. Tears fell down her face onto his shirt and he kissed the top of her head.

He looked back at Damon, both with silly grins on their faces.

"You got the girl, brother," Damon said. Caroline parted from Stefan's chest to look back at Damon. He nodded her and she nodded back.

She looked at Stefan, a glint in her eye. "I'm the girl."

"You sure are."

Their lips found each other once again, and they were happy. His light was back. His Caroline. And he was back, fully, all memories intact. He wa y.

but I **always** will


End file.
